Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] You gotta be bold this story gotta be told own your fierceness gon and glow this the Sonja empowers show Stay on go like a lion who on the prowl Sonja Sells help you get it we doing it and doing it now.
[00:00:31] Hey empowered disruptors. Welcome back to the sonja empowers show where I ignite your online business and help you own your fierceness, embrace your unique beauty, talents and strengths, rise above fear and step into your destiny as you build empires and shatter expectations together.
[00:00:53] Today, we're diving deep into a question that many of us have asked ourselves at some point in our entrepreneurial journey.
[00:01:02] Why are not they supporting me?
[00:01:07] Okay, whether it's a lack of likes on social media, a family member who doesn't understand your vision, or a friend who's hesitant to support your business, it can be disheartening. But let's flip the script.
[00:01:23] The real question isn't why they are not supporting you, it's why does it matter?
[00:01:31] So let's talk about external validation versus internal drive.
[00:01:36] When we seek validation from others, we're essentially outsourcing our self worth.
[00:01:44] We're basing our happiness and success on the opinions and actions of others.
[00:01:51] This can be a dangerous game, y'all, as it leaves us vulnerable to the whims and the moods of those around us. You know, it's like, okay, the only way I'll move forward in my business is if my spouse, you know, my children, who's married and have their own family or my best friend support me, you know, but if none of these people support me, then I guess that means that I didn't have what it takes. I don't have what it takes to move forward, you know, and so that's a very dangerous game.
[00:02:31] A more sustainable approach is to cultivate an internal drive. This means finding your passion, your purpose, and letting that fuel your actions. Some people say like, oh, you know, passion is not enough. I beg to differ. You know, you don't have to be passionate, so to speak, to start a business. But I tell you, when you start a business based on your passion for something, I'm telling you, it will help thrust you forward, it will keep you motivated, it would keep you focused on the biggest picture. Me, I'm a passion based entrepreneur. So in a nutshell, I have turned my passions into an online business. Okay?
[00:03:15] So with that being said, when you're driven by an intrinsic desire to make a difference, external validation becomes less important. Not saying that it doesn't matter, but at the same time, does it really? You won't find yourself like meditating on how many likes you got or how many likes you didn't get. You know who gave you that high five or who didn't. You know that external validation from others, it really will become less important to where you will begin to pat yourself on the back. You will begin to give yourself a high five. You'll look in the mirror and say, you know what, we did that today.
[00:03:56] So you have to be motivated by a sense of fulfillment and a desire to contribute to the world rather than seeking approval from others.
[00:04:12] Now, the power of your why. For a long time in business I heard this talking about your why, finding your why, understanding your why, and then I got it.
[00:04:24] Your why is the underlying reason for your actions. It's the core motivation that drives you to pursue your goals. When you're deeply connected to your why, you're more resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks. You're less likely to be swayed by negative feedback or criticism. Because honey, let me tell you child, it is so easy in this digital age for people who take the coward way to open up their laptop or they will get on their mobile device and they will like feed you all this negative feedback. They will, they will sit out here and spew like hurtful criticism on purpose for whatever reason. Like you don't even know these people. Whether it's just disgruntled people or someone who's unhappy because they're not walking in their purpose, or maybe it's some troll or some bot out there. But whatever the case may be, they're out to target people who have the courage to walk in their purpose, to step in their destiny, to go after their dreams. But these cowards, it's easy for them to sit behind a laptop to make you feel less than you ought to feel.
[00:05:52] And so being connected with your why, it really is going to help you face those types of challenges that comes along with the territory.
[00:06:05] And the more people that know you and you have exposure to the online world, guess what? Sometimes you know you will have those idiots, I can't even apologize for saying it, but you will have those idiots that would sit here and try to make you second guess yourself.
[00:06:29] A strong why can help you overcome obstacles and stay focused on your long term goals. It can also help you attract like minded people, share your vision and support your journey. So even though you have these cowards out here, these bots, these trolls, these idiots, you can't focus on that because you will have people who truly support you, who are inspired by you, who are empowered by you who can't get enough of all the goodness that you're putting out there or your amazing products that you're putting out there. So you have to stay focused on your focus. You have to drown out the noise that comes along in this digital age and you have to keep running your race, okay? And you have to own your fierceness. Bottom line, I'm from Texas, so we have a saying, you know, we are Texas strong. We have tough skin. We are resilient people.
[00:07:27] Okay?
[00:07:28] And maybe not everyone in Texas, but that's the mentality that I have. And I've been exposed in this, this whole entrepreneurial journey. I've been exposed like for the last seven years. And I can tell you, you know, that even though I've had those, those negative individuals, it's really a small percentage compared to the individuals who truly support me.
[00:07:58] So you need to become connected to your why? Because on those days when you may not get in touch with that coach or you can't get in touch with that, that bestie who truly inspires and support you, or it may be where you wake up at 12, 13am and you're just having like a semi meltdown and like, oh, my gosh, you know, I can't do this anymore. That's when you have to dig into that why and ask yourself, self, why am I doing what I'm doing?
[00:08:32] And that's going to help keep you going.
[00:08:35] That's going to jolt you from those negative gremlins, those negative voices in your head. That's saying you can't do it and that deeper why is going to say, keep going.
[00:08:49] Building your tribe. Now, your tribe is the group of people who believe in you and support your dreams. It's important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and inspire you to build your tribe. You need to be authentic and genuine. You do not need to be fake.
[00:09:11] Share your story. Share your passions and your goals with others.
[00:09:17] This is the one time that it's okay to brag about yourself.
[00:09:21] You want to let people know. Yep. Yep. I'm Sonja Sells. I am a business empowerment growth strategist. You know, yes, I help people start online businesses and grow them.
[00:09:33] You know, don't be afraid to share your passions with others and your story. Be open and honest about your struggles and your triumphs.
[00:09:46] By connecting with others on a deeper level, you'll attract people who truly care about you and your success.
[00:09:54] These people will be your biggest supporters, your biggest cheerleaders and your biggest advocates.
[00:10:03] Now, we want to, I want to shift Gears a little bit and talk about overcoming the fear of rejection. Because fear is a biggie, right? It's like the F bomb, man. It will kill a dream, destroy a vision quicker than, than anything.
[00:10:20] Now, fear, rejection, it is a common human emotion, okay?
[00:10:27] But what you have to understand about it is it can hold us back from taking risk, pursuing our dreams, and connecting with others. That fear of rejection can cause you to isolate yourself from the very people that can give you a hand up concerning getting to your next level in business and in life.
[00:10:54] So here are a few strategies to overcome this fear. 1. Embrace vulnerability.
[00:11:03] Again, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, it can be scary, but it's also incredibly rewarding.
[00:11:14] By being vulnerable, you open yourself up to a deeper connection with others. Now, this past weekend, I had the pleasure to speak at this Kingdom gathering event. And it was a, a very beautiful event. It was intimate, a small crowd, had a wonderful dinner, and it was all about sharing our story. And as I was listening to the other speakers, I said, man, we all have one thing in common, and that is we have overcame something, okay?
[00:11:49] And so when I learned about the event and the theme of it, I remember the individual, the hostess said, hey, it's it. I don't want this to be script scripted. I want each speaker to, to really speak from the heart.
[00:12:08] And I was like, okay.
[00:12:10] And so I really didn't know ultimately all that would, like, come out of my mouth until I got up there and I took the mic. And as I was beginning to tell my story, which it was scary. Like some of these individuals, I did not know. Like, some people in the crowd, I didn't know. You know, my husband was there to show support, which was huge for me because I did not get that in my first marriage.
[00:12:37] And he had heard my story, but he never really heard me take the platform as an empowerment speaker before.
[00:12:48] And so I began to share my story, and I was very vulnerable. And then I just kind of got into my zone and shifted gears and it was. It was so rewarding because, you know, some people in the audience, they were shedding tears. You know, some people was. Were relating. And. And then after the event, they were sharing with me how the things I was sharing, they. They could relate to, they had been through all of it. They were like, you were talking to me. You were speaking about my heart. And so, see, by me being vulnerable, by me sharing my thoughts, my feelings, by me opening up my mouth and sharing my story, it allowed me to have deeper connections with those who attended the event.
[00:13:38] And quite A few people got a breakthrough not only from my story, but from all the speakers stories. They had got breakthroughs that they needed, even if it was just in that moment.
[00:13:55] And so embrace vulnerability.
[00:13:59] 2. Learn from feedback. Constructive criticism can be valuable, a valuable tool for growth. You know, you have to drown out all that negative noise. But when individuals come to you and they give you constructive criticism because they do want to see you grow, because they believe in your dreams, instead of taking it personally, use it as an opportunity to improve your skills and your knowledge. There are times where I'm trying to give individuals feedback and I notice like before I can like give them feedback, sometimes they'll like, as I'm giving them feedback they'll say like, I know, I know, you know, they'll like kind of cut me off a little bit, like not let me finish completely. And I'm like, they're not really receptive to this. But I'm like, what type of individual would I be if I did what most people probably in their life have done? Lie, massage your ego or not say nothing. No, I'm gonna push you.
[00:15:03] If you connect with me, I'm going to push you in love to get to your next level in life.
[00:15:13] 3. Stay focused on your goals. It's easy to get sidetracked by negative feedback or rejection. Like before you know it, you'll be, you'll be sitting in your jammies, you know, binging on your favorite comfort food, sulking behind that negative feedback or rejection. Oh, you know, I didn't get a client this week. Oh my gosh, you know, I got a consultation but they didn't sign on and, and I need paid clients or you know, some other kind of negative feedback and you begin to meditate on that. And then before you know it, a whole week have passed and what, you didn't get anything done except meditate on the negative feedback or the rejection? So keep your eye on the prize and stay focused on your long term goal. When you made the decision to become an entrepreneur, right, it wasn't like, okay, well I'm going to become an entrepreneur and everything, then as long as it's good, I'm in it, you know, and, but if, if I hadn't reached all my goals, you know, within three months, then it wasn't for me, you know, and it's like, were you really in it for the long term?
[00:16:19] You know, because for me I'm in it to win it for the long term.
[00:16:25] I'm trying to create generational wealth.
[00:16:28] I'm trying to rewrite legacies. This is what I'm trying to do. So this is my calling. So I can't just throw in a towel just because someone don't like Sonja Sells.
[00:16:40] You know, whatever. The people that don't like me kick rocks. I'm not for you anyway. This is all about the people who I have been called to serve, okay? And I gotta keep that at the forefront of my mind that there are people that are waiting for me to serve them. There are people that are waiting to start online businesses there are people who need to be empowered from week to week. So I don't have time to be sidetracked by whoever don't like me. Oh well, get over it. You don't like what I have to say. Oh well, get over it. You can turn off the podcast. You don't have to look at my post. You're just confirming to me that you're not my target audience. So anyway, moving on.
[00:17:28] When you know who you are, you just don't tolerate foolishness.
[00:17:34] Now let's move on to the importance of self belief. Self belief is the foundation of success. When you believe in yourself, you're more likely to take risk, persevere through challenges, and achieve your goals. So here are some tips for cultivating self belief.
[00:17:52] 1. Practice positive affirmations. Positive affirmations can help reprogram your mind and boost your self esteem. Like I love creating positive affirmations through my company Chocolate Drop Inspired, where I create affordable, transformative resources for aspiring entrepreneurs and the everyday woman to help in their personal and professional growth. One of the products that I offer are digital affirmation cards and this will help boost your self esteem and reprogram your mind. As you're speaking those affirmations out loud, you're really putting positive words in the atmosphere that have the power to shift your future. And so if you're interested in products as such self care type products, you can visit chakeletdrapinspired.com that's C H A K E L E T D r a p inspired.com all right? To celebrate your achievements, take time to acknowledge and celebrate your processes. Excuse me, your successes, no matter how small.
[00:19:04] Now while I mention the word processes, also, as you are building your online business, start focusing on creating your processes, okay? Because that will help accelerate your success as well. Instead of always going back to the drawing board as to how to do a thing, you can start writing down those steps and then you can refer back to those documents to help you along the way until it becomes second nature.
[00:19:32] 3. Visualize success. Imagine yourself achieving your goals. Visualization can help you stay motivated and focused. I don't care if it's only like five minutes of visualization you do per day. Visualizing how it will feel, how it will look once you achieve that goal will make all the difference in keeping you fired up towards the bigger picture.
[00:19:56] Lastly, take action. Consistent focus action. Even small steps can help build momentum and confidence. It's almost like if you start a new exercise program and then you're like, okay, well the holidays are coming up and I'm going to, I'm not going to exercise for a whole week. It's kind of like it almost feel like you have to start all over, build momentum again, you know, and everything. So it's just best to say like, you know what, once I start my exercise program, I'm not going to take off no more than X amount of days. That way you stay focused, you stay consistent and you keep your momentum built up.
[00:20:42] Remember, the journey to success is not always easy. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way. But by overcoming the fear of rejection and cultivating self belief, you can and you will achieve your dreams.
[00:21:00] All right, y'all know what time it is. It's time for that fab assignment. Yes, your Fierce Action Breakthrough assignment.
[00:21:10] What I want you to do is list one to three non supportive individuals in your life.
[00:21:19] Think of one way you can limit interactions with these people as it pertains to your goals.
[00:21:28] Next, think of one person in your life who genuinely believes in you and offers consistent support.
[00:21:37] This person can be a friend, family member or mentor.
[00:21:44] Congratulations. You have just identified a trusted ally.
[00:21:49] Finally, create a list of your past achievements. No matter how small, this will help you recognize your own capabilities and resilience.
[00:22:02] Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Sonja Empowers Show. If you enjoyed this episode, please like share and subscribe for more business empowerment resources to help you overcome life challenges and start an empowered online online business. Visit sonjasells.com until next time,Empowered Disruptors own your fierceness.
