Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] You gotta be bold. This story gotta be told own your fierceness gon and glow. This is Sonja Empowers show.
[00:00:13] Stay on go like a lion who on the prowl Sonja Sells help you get it. We doing it and doing it now.
[00:00:28] Hey, empowered disruptors. Welcome back to the Sonja Empowers Show where I ignite your online business and help you own your fierceness.
[00:00:39] Embrace your unique beauty, talents and strengths. Rise above fear and step into your destiny as you build empires and shatter expectations together.
[00:00:54] What's up, you architects of impact, you powerhouses of purpose.
[00:01:00] Today we're ripping through the biggest silent killer of your influence, your results, and frankly, your happiness.
[00:01:08] Distraction.
[00:01:10] You're hustling, you're building. You're constantly connected.
[00:01:15] But while you're chasing the next notification, your bleeding power, your relationships, your collaborations, your very personal connections are being starved by the endless hum of the digital.
[00:01:29] This isn't about being nice or present.
[00:01:33] This is about strategic domination. Yes, you're going to hear me start saying that word a lot.
[00:01:39] Because when you give people your undivided attention, you're not just being polite. You're building an unshakable foundation, forging unbreakable alliances, and unlocking a level of influence that your distracted rivals can only dream of. It's time to cut the noise and claim your edge. So let's dive in.
[00:02:03] Command your communication.
[00:02:05] Master the unfiltered exchange.
[00:02:09] First up, command your communication.
[00:02:12] Forget passive, improved talks. When you ditch the screens and the multitasking, you enter a different arena. You're not just conversing, you're mastering the unfiltered exchange.
[00:02:26] You're picking up on subtle cues, understanding true intent, learning the very language of the other person's ambition or their heart.
[00:02:37] This isn't just about what's said is about what's felt, what's understood at a visceral level.
[00:02:45] This is where true synergy is born, where you cut through the static and build a direct line to their core.
[00:02:54] Unleash unadulterated connection.
[00:02:58] Inject pure adrenaline into relationships.
[00:03:02] Next. Unleash unadulterated connection.
[00:03:08] Face it, trying to connect with someone while your phone buzzes like a trap wasp is an insult to both of you, right?
[00:03:18] Like I remember sharing with my husband, I said, you know, you know, whenever we have, you know, family time, you know that there, there is not going to be any phones at the table. You know, we need to learn how to connect. Not my husband and I, but just as human beings, you know, cell phones have, like, taken over. Technology has taken over. We. You go to a restaurant. And literally, you know, you see individuals on the phone all the time, and there's not that intimate communication, that connection, you know, they're. Because they're so distracted bodies, the cell phone. And so I was like, wow. I mean, you think quality time, you can just put away the phone? So that's one thing I practice in my personal relationships, not only with my husband, but I really do. Like, when I know someone is talking to me, I. I'll put my phone down because I want them to feel as though that they're being heard and connected. And if it's one of those emergency situations, right, where literally it's like, oh, I look and I'm getting like a call back to back. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I apologize. This must be an emergency, because this person never does this, right?
[00:04:37] And so we have to be committed.
[00:04:42] And when you commit to distraction free time, you're injecting pure adrenaline into that connection.
[00:04:49] The rarity of genuine, focused engagement makes it exciting, even exhilarating sometimes. You're not just hanging out, you're creating a sacred space of mutual intensity.
[00:05:02] In my marriage, I say, hey, we're creating new memories.
[00:05:05] This is where bonds are forged, where trust is solidified, where you both feel the true raw power of being seen and heard, Forge inevitable bonds, carve out unforgettable legacies.
[00:05:23] Remember this when you're on your deathbed.
[00:05:29] You're not going to wish you spent more time scrolling. Let's just be real. I mean, life is so short.
[00:05:38] You will crave the echoes of the moments you truly lived, where you truly connected and forged those bonds.
[00:05:48] Even undistracted moments is a chiseling tool, carving out unforgettable memories, legacies of connections that no digital feed can replicate.
[00:06:03] You're not just building a relationship, you're building a history, a narrative. Women from. From shared. Excuse me, A narrative woven, like, from shared laughter, you know, intense discussions and the quiet power of simply being there. I remember times where, you know, people have passed on, you know, and transitioned from this earth. And I still remember, like, for example, my. My grandmother. And, you know, this is, you know, she of course, passed in 2008, but I just remember those simple times just sitting down on the porch and talking with grandma, you know, or watching her favorite TV show, you know, and those memories, like, this digital age, I'm like, nah, you know, if she was still around, I would cherish those moments if I had just that one opportunity again, you know, and so I have those memories to look Back on, you know, our shared laughter over her favorite snacks, which were a bottle of Pepsi and Cheetos, you know, and so it's very important to master the art of just being there. All right, moving on.
[00:07:22] Unlock synergistic strengths. Discover your power packs.
[00:07:27] So the more you truly engage without the noise, the more, the more you unlock synergistic strengths.
[00:07:35] This isn't just about finding common hobbies.
[00:07:39] It's about discovering shared drives, skills and untapped potential.
[00:07:45] When you truly listen, you unearth hidden passions, expose dormant talents, and pinpoint opportunities for collaborative dominance you'd never see through a screen.
[00:07:59] These are your power packs. Where shared interests become shared conquest and relationship satisfaction isn't just improved, it's amplified.
[00:08:13] Ignite shared obsession. Fueling collective ambition.
[00:08:18] This leads directly to ignite shared obsession. Whether it's a project partner or a personal confidant, undiluted focus fuels a ferocious mutual passion. The more deeply you connect, the more you understand their drive, their vision, their very essence.
[00:08:34] There's someone you know in the, in the business industry and man, every time she put out a post, it just ignites me because I connected with her on a personal level, right?
[00:08:49] And I'm nowhere near where she's at. She's been in the business game for a while and everything. And we, I had an opportunity to talk to her and I was like, man, she's so down to earth. And you know, her vulnerability just ignited me on a whole other level. And so now she's visible to me, I'm visible to her and I'm cheering her on with the projects that she have going on in her business. And it's just igniting something in me and it's a hunger that I can't explain. It's a fierceness, a new fierceness that's just bubbling up on the inside of me, you know, And I actually look forward to her post. I look forward to the times when I get to talk to her. It's not much, but I do look forward to that and everything.
[00:09:40] And so what happens is you just look forward to those stress free, high intensity engagements, you know, because it's, it's not just connecting you, but it's elevating you. And I, I literally see that in my business, like since I connected with this person, literally, it's like something has ignited. It's, it's not, it's no competition. It's all about, you know, collaboration. It's all about, you know, cheering that person on and showing support, you know, but it has ignited something in me to where it's like my messaging is getting is clear, you know, I'm about to revamp my branding. It's just amazing what happens when you connect with right individuals and everything is amplified is just amazing.
[00:10:31] All right, moving on. Solidify your inner circle. Build unshakable loyalty. All right, and what all, what, what does all this cultivate, right?
[00:10:43] You know, so what it cultivates is that unshakable loyalty, right? So many times we become loyal to that which doesn't serve a purpose in our life. We become loyal to things that hurt us and toxic relationships and all these things.
[00:11:05] And now it's time to like build that fierce circle.
[00:11:10] And when you consistently show up fully, truly present, you foster a primal sense of commitment, right? And commitment is a two way street.
[00:11:21] Human nature. It dictates when we feel deeply connected, truly seen, our devotion becomes unyielding. You know, it's like you want to be a better version of yourself because you have that loyal inner circle that's cheering you on, right? It's not about manipulation.
[00:11:40] It's about earning the fierce loyalty of your tribe.
[00:11:44] See men in your place as a leader who values and cultivates genuine connection. And people know, man, I'm telling you, people know when you're not genuine. They can feel it, they can see it, they can sense it.
[00:11:57] And so that's why I'm so committed to and careful how I show up online, because I don't want to create a fake Persona, you know, that's why I don't care, like how many times y' all hear me stumble and bumble over my words in these podcasts. I know they'll get better, but at the same time, most people, they normally stumble and bumble over their words in a casual conversation. You know, I really desire to make a genuine connection with my listeners, my audience, people who will, you know, one day say, hey, I'm going to invest in her and actually do it, you know, and so it's very important, you know, to be committed to the right thing so that you can begin to build and cultivate, you know, your loyal base.
[00:12:47] All right, Disseminate digital drag. Claim your undisturbed bliss.
[00:12:52] Finally, and perhaps most crucially, giving undivided attention helps you disseminate digital drag. Distraction is a parasite, draining your energy, breathing stress, corroding your well being. I mean, we are so freaking distracted, it's ridiculous. And yet most people think that they're okay, you know, especially in business. They feel as though they're, they're gaining ground and you can literally go like, and not talk, talk to someone in like three months. And you're like, hey, how's it going? How's the business going? You know, this and that. And they're in the same place, but they think that they're doing great, you know, and they're not realizing that distractions come in many forms. You know, we're talking about digital, but distractions come in many forms. You know, we could be distracted for those who are in the workplace, you could be distracted by your job.
[00:13:47] And then before you know it, an entire year have. Has passed and you stealing are in the same place. No extra strategy. You're not one year closer to transitioning from the job into your business. Nothing is set up properly, you know, and then you're wondering what's going on. You know, we're distracted by the wrong relationships. We're distracted by social media. We are distracted by all the streaming services. Distractions, distractions, distractions. So that's why I say it is parasitic, okay?
[00:14:20] But by developing a lifestyle of singular focus, by eliminating the constant pull of the screen, you don't just reduce stress, you annihilate it. You know, you reclaim your mental bandwidth, you sharpen your focus, and you claim your undisturbed bliss.
[00:14:38] This is where true happiness resides, in the riches of the present moment, undistorted and undiluted. Okay, My husband did something that was so sweet. You know, he. He has this just. I don't know if it's a gift, I don't know what it is, but I can innocently mention something, and then the next thing I know it, he goes out and buy it.
[00:15:02] So, you know, I still have like, my original earbuds that came with my phone. And I think my phone. I think I maybe purchased this phone in like 2020, 2021. I'm not one to just jump on the latest trend just because everyone else is doing it. And I was like, oh, I need to get some. Some new earbuds. So we're walking the track and I have my phone. I don't have my earbud in and.
[00:15:29] But I just have my phone in my pocket and I have music playing. And I'm like, man, I need. It'll be nice to have some headphones so I can really, you know, so I could really look like I'm serious at work it out.
[00:15:40] And so he recently was like, hey, I got a surprise coming in the mail, but don't open it till I get off of work, you know? And it was some. Some headphones, you Know, over the ear type headphones. And I thought that was so sweet, you know, and everything. And by me having those headphones, sometimes what I do is I just take five minutes to step away from the laptop, right?
[00:16:06] Because my world can get noisy, okay?
[00:16:10] And I, I just put on some jazz music and man, having the headphones over the head headphones, it sounds so much better than having having them in my ear for some reason. And I just get lost in those five minutes and it recharges me, you know? And that's my blissful place. I love smooth R B jazz music. Think Bony J.
[00:16:35] So it doesn't take a lot of time, money, resources to start incorporating, you know, those distraction free moments, just intertwining them in your day.
[00:16:49] So if you want to forge relationships that are not just strong, but unbreakable, if you want to elevate your influence and accelerate your impact, it's time to cut the crap. I don't know how else to say it, but just to say it. It's like, what do you really want in life? You know, we're not two, we're not five, where other people are dictating our lives.
[00:17:13] We are grown, fierce, untamed women, right?
[00:17:18] And it's like, it's, it's time to get on board. It's time to really figure out, what do you want in life? Ask yourself, look in the mirror and say, for example, me, Sonia, what do you want in life? What type of relationships do you want?
[00:17:31] And then put in the work to get there.
[00:17:34] Simple as that.
[00:17:35] Command your presence, dish the digital crutches. You know, it's not gonna, like, you don't have to respond. I know someone who's, as soon as their phone ring, I don't care. Literally this person was in a conversation with me talking about something important. I mean, this was a true important conversation that needed to take place. It was a relative.
[00:17:57] That cell phone rang and totally in the, I mean, mid sentence stopped and just left me. And I was like, did this just happen?
[00:18:09] And that person even realized what they had done.
[00:18:13] And I was like, wow, this conversation was so important to the both of us. I mean like a life changing. But the minute they heard that phone and it wasn't anything and, and I've seen that pattern time and time again with this individual. And I was like, wow, this person has allowed this, the digital age, to really, you know, disable them. They don't, they don't see that it's almost spilling over to addiction, right? And so we have to, as entrepreneurs, as Just in our personal lives, we have to, you know, really master the ability to give our undivided attention to individuals and realize that it's our competitive edge. Right? I don't believe in competition, but it is a competitive edge issue, a weapon of mass connection. And I've talked to so many women and they're like, hello? Hello, are you there? And I'm like, I'm, I'm here. I'm listening. I'm on the phone, I'm listening. And they're like, wow, you're, you're so quiet. I'm like, I'm listening intently.
[00:19:16] You know, you have my undivided attention, so I'm quiet.
[00:19:20] This is your, this is your stage, you know, and it makes all the difference. People want to be heard and, and you have to really get rid of the noise, get rid of the distractions in business and life. All right, so now it's time for your fab assignment. That's your fierce action breakthrough assignment for the week.
[00:19:44] And that is the undivided edge challenge.
[00:19:47] One, Identify one crucial connection. Choose one relationship this week.
[00:19:52] A key client, a team member, a family member, or a close friend.
[00:19:57] Where you want to apply the undivided edge.
[00:20:00] Two, declare a distraction free zone. Schedule at least one specific block of time, a minimum of 15 minutes. Even though 30 minutes is ideal with that person, this time is sacred.
[00:20:13] Inform them up front for this conversation, slash, meeting, slash meal. My phone is off. Slash away. My full attention is yours. For example, I often when I'm working with clients, I will share my calendar with them depending on. I did this a lot when I was an executive assistant and had four clientele.
[00:20:36] And one of the things that I had on my calendar was sacred family time.
[00:20:41] And so from 6 to 9, it was sacred family time. And I would share with them. Hey, my open office hours are from 8 to 4, right?
[00:20:50] I have a little buffer where it may be a one off to where I may be available to five. I'm absolutely not available after five. I need to decompress and I need to shift gears to prepare for my family's sacred time.
[00:21:05] That's a non negotiable, you know. And so you have to set the stage. You have. The people have to know that you, that they are wanted, they are needed, that they are heard. All right?
[00:21:17] Three, execute and observe during your scheduled time.
[00:21:21] Eliminate all digital distractions.
[00:21:24] Listen intently. Engage fully. Observe the difference in the quality of the interaction, the depth of connection and the clarity of communication.
[00:21:34] And four, reflect and replicate afterward. Reflect. What shifted? How did it feel. What insights did you gain? Commit to applying this undivided edge to at least one more crucial connection next week. You've got this the future belongs to those who show up fully.
[00:21:56] Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Sonja Empowers Show. I love to hear your feedback. Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform.
[00:22:04] Connect with me on social Media.
[00:22:06] If you enjoyed this episode, please like share and subscribe.
[00:22:11] For more business empowerment resources, visit SonjaSells.com and for additional resources on personal growth and inspiration, visit ChakeletDrapInspired.com until next time, Empowered Disruptors Break free. Be fierce.
