Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] You gotta be bold. This story gotta be told own your fierceness gon and glow. This is Sonja Empower's show. Stay on go like a lion. Who on the prowl Sonja Sells help you get it. We doing it and doing it now.
[00:00:28] Hey, Empower disruptors. Welcome back to the sonja empowers show where I ignite your online business and help you own your fierceness, embrace your unique beauty, talents and strengths, rise above fear and step into your destiny as you build empires and shatter expectations together.
[00:00:53] Today, we're not just planting seeds of focus. We're cultivating a thriving garden of unstoppable progress by building a powerful pact with ourselves.
[00:01:07] This isn't just about concentration.
[00:01:10] It's about creating a force that moves mountains.
[00:01:15] We've all been there, haven't we? The endless scroll, the highlight reels, the sudden pang of am I doing enough?
[00:01:26] It's easy to get lost in the noise and lose sight of our own unique path. But today, we're reclaiming that focus, and we're doing it with purpose.
[00:01:37] We know social media is a curated illusion, but knowing that isn't enough. Because even when we intellectually understand it's a highlight reel, our emotions still react.
[00:01:52] The constant barrage of perfect moments seep into our subconscious, whispering doubts and fueling comparison.
[00:02:02] Knowledge alone doesn't shield us from the emotional sting.
[00:02:07] We need a framework, a structure to keep us grounded. That's where packed goals come in.
[00:02:15] Forget rigid, impersonal targets. We're building goals that are purposeful, actionable, continuous, and trackable.
[00:02:27] Let's break it down.
[00:02:29] Purposeful.
[00:02:31] Why are you doing what you're doing?
[00:02:34] What values drive you?
[00:02:37] Your goals should be deeply connected to your why.
[00:02:40] We talked about this before. For example, instead of just saying, I want to grow my business, ask yourself, why do I want to grow my business?
[00:02:52] Is it to create financial freedom for my family?
[00:02:56] To make a positive impact on my community?
[00:02:59] That's your purpose.
[00:03:02] For me, oftentimes I share with people that my mission is to help individuals, especially women, to empower them, to create financial and lifestyle freedom through entrepreneurship.
[00:03:16] And my why is deeply connected way back to 2008.
[00:03:23] I'm going to take you back in time. I was a respiratory therapist, and I was heading from Texas to California on a job assignment for three months. Okay? And at the time, my grandmother, she was, like, off and on sick, and she was hospitalized, you know, and everything, but she was in good spirits.
[00:03:52] And so a lot of people didn't know, but the very last evening before I was heading out to California, and by the way, I was going through a traveling agency. So I had the choice of whether I wanted to fly, you know, but I decided to drive to California. So I believe the whole trip was like 30 hours or 31 hours, something like that.
[00:04:18] And here it is. I'm a single woman. Back in 2008, I didn't have a GPS or anything. I don't even know if they were around then. But my car was not equipped with the gps. And the only thing I had was a printout of a Yahoo map that was helping me with my route, and I never got lost. But anyway, the. The night that I left, I didn't get very much sleep because my adrenaline was racing. This was my first time, you know, on a travel assignment. And I was really torn because family is everything to me. And, you know, my belief system have changed a little bit. But back then, it's like, man, family is everything. I'm loyal. I make the sacrifices no matter what. Even if. If that means that I have to put off my dreams. That was my mindset then. It has changed a little bit now. And so I was really torn whether I wanted to even sign the contract, and I decided to sign the contract, and it was guilt that was tied to that.
[00:05:24] I was considered the rock in my family, and now the rock is leaving me, is leaving when I felt like so many people needed me. And so I went to the hospital, and my grandmother is, you know, she was like this little bitty woman. She may have been 5ft, and she was less than 100 pounds soaking wet. She had, like, this fear of. She always would tell me, we're from the South. And she was. She would call me Sanya. She say, s. Yeah, I don't want to get fat because my mother was fat. So I just chopped it up later like that. It was a fear. So she's like less than £100. She's in the hospital bed, and she's so happy to see me. And she began to, you know, have this conversation with me. And I'm a woman of faith, so when I hear people having those type of conversations, I know they are tired of being on this earth and the. They will transition soon. And so I shared with her. I said.
[00:06:23] I said, grandma, I said, I'm. I'm headed to California. And she was proud of me. And I said, I'm headed to California on job assignment, and I will be back in May. Okay? I was like, so I need for you to be here. I need for you to be here. I need for you to be strong. You're Going to pull through this. I had that type of conversation. And I remember she said, try.
[00:06:48] She said, but I'm tired. I'm ready to go home. I said, I know you're ready to go home, but the doctors need to do what they need to do. And she said, no, no, Sanya. She said, I'm ready to go home.
[00:07:00] I'm ready to go be with my sister. And she was talking about her sister Mary, which everyone called her Aunt Sis. Like, even though she was my great aunt, I called her Aunt Sis. And she was like, no, I'm ready to go home to be with my. My sister. And she said, and I'm ready to go see George. And George was my grandfather who passed away in 1999 from lung cancer. So I was like, grandma, don't talk like that and stuff. I was like, promise me you will still be here. Like, I need you to still be here. I won't be going long. Just promise me. And she said, I'll try.
[00:07:35] And I hugged and kissed and told her I loved her, and I went on my way.
[00:07:40] That journey was such an empowerment journey for me. Just traveling from Texas to California. I mean, coming from a small town of. Of less than 7,000 people, that was, like, huge. None of my friends or family, like, they really didn't think I was going to do it, but I did it, and I made it there safely. But, man, it was an empowerment trip, spiritual empowerment. I mean, on all levels, it stretched me.
[00:08:02] So fast forward, here it is. I have roughly about a month left in my job assignment, and I get the call that my grandmother had passed away. So I fly out to the funeral, and it was so much that was going on in my mind. I was just so guilty. Like, I should have been there. I should have never left. You know, I could have kept her alive, you know, and that was my mindset. When, in reality, when a person is ready to go, it oftentimes will happen.
[00:08:29] And I remember before I left, because I came in that Friday night. The funeral was that Saturday. And then I left to head back to Houston airport that Sunday so I could go back to work that Monday. Yeah. Talking about not giving yourself no time to. To process or grieve.
[00:08:48] And so that Sunday morning, I went out to the grave site and I had a talk with her. I know she was there, but it was a beautiful April morning.
[00:09:05] I was like, it was so beautiful. I mean, just sun was out and right at her grave site.
[00:09:14] I kid you not. It was a breeze. And that was the only place where it Was this gentle breeze blowing? I'm looking. No other trees are moving. Nothing. I mean, just in that spot.
[00:09:27] And I began to cry out to my grandmother and I shared some things with her.
[00:09:36] And one of the things I said was, grandmama was like, grandma, I was like, I don't care how long it takes me, I'm going to be the one to break this curse of poverty off our family.
[00:09:55] I don't care how long it takes. I'm going to be the one. I'm going to be the one.
[00:10:01] Because, see, I remember she told me when Ain't Sis was alive, and I told him that I was going back to college. And I remember an sis say, see Leola. Leola was my grandmother name. She said, see, Leola, I told you. I told you she was going to be the one. She was going to be the one to make something of herself and food. That was early 2000s, 2000. And then here it is, 2008. When my grandmother passed, it was like, it was enough is enough. It was like so many people I saw before my grandmother had passed, and she was, you know, poorly educated. My. My grandfather, he was poorly educated. You know, they didn't have much of anything. They didn't own any property or anything. And I saw this time and time again, and I was like, I don't care. I don't know where I'm headed to in life ultimately, because I knew I wasn't going to be a respiratory therapist forever. But what I did know was that I was not going to give up on my dreams. Even if I said I was going to give up, I was going to jump back in the race. And so my why is so deeply rooted to where. Fast forward. When I started thinking about my why, and I was like, okay, what is your why? And I was like, you know, I want financial and lifestyle freedom. And then I asked myself, so what would that look like? What would that feel like, you know?
[00:11:32] And I began to take myself through those exercises of what that would look like, what it would mean to me. Like, if I ever had a family, I could be present in my family's life.
[00:11:46] I could not have to answer to anyone and ask permission to take off if I want to go see my children. I was saying my future children wanted to see them at a school program, or if I wanted to take vacation, or if I just needed a mental break from work.
[00:12:05] I didn't have to answer to no one or no one would make me feel guilty because I need to do what's best for Sonja.
[00:12:12] You Know, financial freedom, I can do greater good in the world, you know, and I would see money as just being a currency to, to and a tool used to help me do more good.
[00:12:24] And so whenever, you know, I, you know, was, wasn't taking my entrepreneurship journey seriously, and then I put it on the back burner. It was when I circle back to my why and the vow that I made to my grandmother and to myself that I was like, I can't give up on my dreams. And so finally, as I shared with you all, in 2017, when I had that life changing event and had to have major surgery and stepped back in the workforce and then knew I couldn't perform my job duties, and it was just too much on my body. That's when I took that leap of faith and started working from home, doing administrative work. And I never looked back, you know, and I was so serious about my journey that I allowed my respiratory license, something that I worked hard for, something that I have student loans behind. I allowed that to become inactive, you know, and once it becomes inactive, you can, you can go so long, you know, and, and like, you know, you could take continuing education credits and you can go so long that, that, you know, that route. But then it's a certification, I believe it used to be, where it's like, you have to like, get. Like it was something that you had to do like every five years or something like that. And when it came time for that, I allowed that to just. I was like, no, I'm not renewing or anything. And so the only way that I could work off my respiratory license is I would have to take the board certification test over. And I knew I wasn't going to do that. So after seeking my higher power, you know, God, Jesus Christ, Father, I knew that there was no turning back. And that was the hardest decision yet, the best decision for me because I knew that I couldn't have an option A, B and C if I had that respiratory license, I would have never gotten serious about my dreams, you know, and everything that was me. I'm not saying that for anyone else. I just know Sonia would have never gotten serious. Okay. And so once 2017 happened, on those days where I'm curl, I. I'm curled up in a ball and I'm like, man, this entrepreneurship journey just seems like too much. Am I ever going to get to that next level or whatever is trying to consume my mind to say that I won't ever do? That's when, you know, I circle back to that deep connected, you know, why?
[00:15:05] And, and, and the vow that I made to my grandmother. And I know I've taken a lot of time with this story, but for those of you who are listening every week to my podcast or would just stumble across it for the first time, you need to really understand the seriousness of your goals and it being connected to your why? Because on those days where this entrepreneurship journey just seems impossible, on those days where it feels as though the world has beat you up, on those days when you wake up with excitement but you're greeted with crickets, you know, on social media, it's going to be that, that why that keep you in the game, okay? And so my purpose is so deep and so strong to where I have committed myself to help as many people obtain that lifestyle and financial freedom through entrepreneurship. And that's why even recently I was like, I changed my message and I was like, okay, girl, you have to really peel back the layers of, of who in this season you are helping to empower them, you know, And I was like, you know what? Take yourself back. And when I took myself back, I was like, yeah, this, this, this was me. And now I empower women 35 plus who are tired of rigid schedules and unfulfilling work to build passion driven online businesses so that they can finally, you know, have that freedom and that purpose they crave. It's not just something cute to say. This is something that I have lived out and I'm living out to get to that ultimate freedom. Okay? So moving on to the next, and that is actionable.
[00:17:03] Can you break your big goals into small, manageable steps?
[00:17:09] Forget about the distant finish line. Focus on the next action you can take today. Not Monday, not a week from whenever you listen to this podcast today, okay? Instead of saying, I want to write a book, say, I will write 200 words today. That's actionable. If you say, Sonja, that's too much. Say, I'm going to write 50 words today. But get started.
[00:17:35] C is for Continuous progress isn't linear. It's a journey of constant learning and adaptation. So your goals should reflect that. Think about how you can consistently improve, iterate and adapt.
[00:17:50] What can you do each day or each week to stay on track?
[00:17:55] Remember, small, consistent actions over time create massive results.
[00:18:01] Here it is. I am shocked. Like, when I started this podcast, it was a vision. I had wanted to do it for a while, you know, and I used to do a blog, talk radio, and it was fun, but it was some things that I didn't like about just being live. And I was like, when the podcast started happening, I was like, oh, one day I'm gonna do podcast. And a lot of people struggle with doing podcasts for whatever reason, but for me, it's. It's an adventure, is fun. And I was like, I have to keep this going. And so what makes sense in this season when, you know, I have two businesses and everything and obligations outside of business? I mean, what makes sense? And I was like, you know what? I can do a weekly podcast, okay? So now I have to be consistent with that weekly podcast, and I have a system in place, right? And I'm tweaking that system, and it's working.
[00:19:00] And so just small, consistent action will create massive results. Now I have people saying, oh, I love your podcast. You know, I had a client. I have a client, and was like, you know what? Your podcast is awesome. I remember. And he told me, yes, he. I do work with a few Go good men. And he told me. He was like, you know what? I spent most of the weekend catching up on your podcast. I even shared it with the entire leadership team. You know, I'm not. My podcast is not monetized. I don't even have. At the time of this recording, I don't even have 20 episodes yet. But I have been consistent, and now it's a part of my branding. And so I'm receiving massive results. I mean, a family member the other day told me they were at church, and someone said, hey, I. I listened to. It was my mom. I listened to your daughter's podcast. It was so good. And I'm just like, I'm just humbly honored that people are finding my podcast. I don't pay attention to the numbers. I can't tell you how many listeners. I just know I'm just following my purpose, y'all, and being consistent with it, and it's paying off. And I'm kind of asking myself, you know, looking back years ago, I didn't I do all of this earlier? Meaning because podcast, as I know, wasn't around, you know, back in 2007 or eight or whatever. But why didn't I do this earlier? Meaning, why wasn't I consistent earlier? Right?
[00:20:36] And finally trackable. How will you know you're making progress? You need clear metrics to measure your success. This isn't just about numbers. It's about tracking your growth and learning from your experiences. You can use a journal, a spreadsheet, or any tool that helps you monitor your progress.
[00:20:57] This is how you stay accountable to yourself.
[00:21:01] Now, let's switch gears, and let's talk about energy management, which is a key part of staying on track instead of just self care. Focusing on understanding what drains your energy and what fuels it. You need to understand that. Do you feel energized after a walk in nature or do you feel drained after scrolling social media for an hour? Okay, for me, I can, I have like certain times that I jump on social media and if my work day was like kind of crazy, then I would say, okay, I'm gonna hop on social media for X amount of minutes because I cannot stay on social media for too long. It just drains me, you know, to just be scrolling on Instagram or scrolling on Facebook. You know, even my personal page on Facebook, I, I don't scroll. I like it may be 5 minutes, 10 minutes, but I was like, it's just too draining, you know. And so what I do is it's certain groups, let's say for example on Facebook that I am a part of because it's connected to things in business that I have invested in. So what I do is I bookmark those groups and then I created a, like a Facebook folder and that way whenever I want to go to that particular group, I just click on that bookmark and it take me right to it. And that way I can have focused time and dedicate my energy to just that group. Instead of scrolling and getting distracted, you need to identify your energy vampires and your energy boosters and make conscious choices to prioritize the latter.
[00:22:52] Now let's bust some myths, AKA lies, shall we? Myth one, success is linear. Wrong. It's a messy winding road filled with detours and U turns. Myth number two, everyone else has it figured out.
[00:23:11] Nope. We're all navigating this crazy thing called life one step at a time.
[00:23:17] Myth number three, that successful people don't struggle.
[00:23:23] That thing just come easy to them.
[00:23:27] This is absolute nonsense. Behind every quote unquote effortless success story or countless challenges, setbacks and lessons learned. And myth number four, that success happens overnight.
[00:23:44] Who in the world started this one? Because it's a big fat lie. Lasting success is built through consistent effort, perseverance and often a lot of hidden hard work. Look y'all, I used to do full time executive assistant work for six to eight figure high performing entrepreneurs for many, many years. I've had hundreds of clients, let me tell you. I mean from the solo entrepreneur just starting out all the way, like I said, to eight figures with my biggest client being a 21 billion dollar pharmaceutical company. And let me tell you, those people work hard.
[00:24:23] They work hard I've seen some of their tears. I've heard them say words that, ooh, will burn your ears. But I've also been there when they have closed that deal, when they have gotten their clients to the finish line and you're virtually high five in each other and it's just amazing, okay? But it did not happen overnight for them. Some people literally, you know, was like, what am I doing wrong? What's going on? And they kept going back to the drawing board. Then year three, for some of them, it just happened. It's like, wow, we tweaked the formula and this is working. And they finally found the business model that was working. And so don't ever think that success happens overnight. Believe me, majority, if not all of my clients, when I would say 100% of them, they did build it through consistent effort. They stayed in there when it was tough. They had their nights where they tossed and turned. They even had their nights when they were only working off of two hours of sleep and some coffee.
[00:25:28] But it paid off with that hidden hard work.
[00:25:33] Now, I want you to close your eyes for a moment, please, if you can, if you can do so safely.
[00:25:44] Close your eyes for a moment.
[00:25:47] Picture yourself confidently walking your own path, radiating your unique light.
[00:25:55] Feel the joy and satisfaction of achieving your goals on your own terms.
[00:26:05] Repeat after me.
[00:26:08] My journey is mine and I am enough.
[00:26:17] Take a deep breath.
[00:26:20] Blow it out.
[00:26:24] Let the affirmation sink in.
[00:26:29] Now for your fab assignment. Yes, Fierce action breakthrough assignment. This week I want you to do the following.
[00:26:38] 1. Build your pact. Take one of your big goals and rewrite it using the PACT framework. Define your purpose, identify actionable steps, create a plan of continuous progress, and establish trackable metrics.
[00:26:55] 2. Energy audit. Spend a day observing what drains and what fuels your energy.
[00:27:02] Write down three things that drained you and three things that energized you.
[00:27:08] 3. Micro resting. Incorporate three 2 minute micro rest throughout your day. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and rest.
[00:27:21] Rest your mind, and for purposeful play, dedicate 15 minutes to an activity that brings you pure joy and stimulates your creativity.
[00:27:34] Remember, your journey is unique. Your path is your own. Build your pact, manage your energy and shine your light. You've got this.
[00:27:44] Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Sonja Empowers Show. I'd love to hear your feedback. Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. Connect with me on social media that's @SonjaSells. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, share and subscribe. I love hearing from people who's telling me that they're loving the show, but it really helps me if you like, share and subscribe to the show. For more business empowerment resources, visit sonjasells.com and for additional resources on personal growth and inspiration, visit chakeletdrapinspired.com until next time. Empowered Disruptors Break free. Be fierce.
