Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] You gotta be bold. This story gotta be told own your Own your fierceness gon and glow this the Sonja Empowers Show. Stay on go like a lion who on the prowl Sonja Sells help you get it. We doing it and doing it now.
[00:00:25] Hey Empowered Disruptors welcome back to the Sonja Empower sshow where I ignite your online business and help you own your fierceness, embrace your unique beauty, talents and strengths, rise above fear and step into your destiny as you build empires and shatter expectations together.
[00:00:51] Today we're diving deep into a topic that's crucial for success in any area of life, but especially for entrepreneurs. Healthy Boundaries we all know that building a successful business takes dedication, focus and a whole lot of hustle. But what happens when the demands of our work start to bleed into our personal lives?
[00:01:16] Or when well meaning loved ones unintentionally sabotage our progress?
[00:01:23] That's where the power of healthy boundaries comes in.
[00:01:28] So let's talk about unhealthy versus Healthy boundaries.
[00:01:33] Let's start with the basics. Unhealthy boundaries are like leaky fences. They allow others to easily cross over into our space, draining our energy and leaving us feeling resentful and overwhelmed.
[00:01:47] Some examples of healthy boundaries Consistently saying yes when you want to say no Allowing others to dictate your schedule and priorities Neglecting your own needs to please others.
[00:02:06] One last example. Feeling guilty for asserting your needs.
[00:02:12] I'm pretty sure some of you all are saying yup, yup, I can relate to that.
[00:02:17] In contrast, healthy boundaries are like strong, well defined fences. They protect our time, energy and emotional well being while still allowing for healthy connection and support.
[00:02:31] Some examples of healthy boundaries clearly communicating your needs and expectations Saying no without feeling guilty Prioritizing self care and downtime, which is so very important.
[00:02:47] And also setting limits on how much time and energy you give to others.
[00:02:55] So what are some signs that you need to create healthy boundaries? Glad you asked.
[00:03:05] Let me ask you this. Are you feeling constantly drained?
[00:03:10] Do you find yourself people pleasing to the point of exhaustion?
[00:03:16] Do you feel resentful towards others?
[00:03:20] These could be signs that you need to establish stronger boundaries.
[00:03:27] Other signs include difficult in saying no, feeling overwhelmed and constantly stressed Experiencing frequent burnout, neglecting your own needs and well being and feeling resentful towards others.
[00:03:45] Also, I'll throw in a bonus sign engaging in people pleasing behavior.
[00:03:53] Now this may be a sensitive subject for some, but it must be addressed.
[00:03:58] And we want to talk about why Family can hinder entrepreneurs if boundaries are not created.
[00:04:07] Family members, while well intentioned, can unknowingly hinder an entrepreneur's progress due to a lack of understanding about the demands of entrepreneurship and the blurred lines between personal and professional life. Here's a deeper dive. Let's talk about unrealistic expectations.
[00:04:29] 1. Availability.
[00:04:32] Family members may expect constant availability assuming the entrepreneur has flexible hours or can easily drop everything for family matters. This can disrupt workflow, derail deadlines, and significantly impact productivity.
[00:04:51] 2. Financial support. Some family members may expect financial assistance or loans, viewing the entrepreneur's success as a personal resource rather than an independent venture.
[00:05:06] 3. Quick success and this is a big one. I have heard so many people talk about this one throughout the years and that is family members may underestimate the time, effort and potential sacrifices required to build a successful business. This can lead to impatience, criticism, and unwarranted pressure.
[00:05:35] Next, we will talk about constant interruptions and distractions.
[00:05:42] Unexpected visits.
[00:05:45] This consists of frequent drop ins, especially during peak work hours, which can disrupt concentration and hinder progress. Constant inquiries. Frequent questions about the business, often demanding detailed updates and explanations that can be so time consuming and draining. For example, how's it going? You making any money yet? Do you have a client this this month? Are your sales low? It's the constant, frequent asking of questions and that really can be time consuming because oftentimes it leads you down a rabbit hole and then it becomes draining, right? And then sometimes it leads to those uncomfortable conversations as if that family member, you know, may not believe in your dream or, you know, once again, they may feel as though it should be moving faster than that. But if truth be told, you know, they might not even know the actual time that it takes, you know, to really build a successful business, especially if, you know, they have never, like delve into the entire entrepreneurship world is a lot to it.
[00:07:06] And lastly, under constant interruptions and distractions, unwanted advice, well meaning but unsolicited advice, often based on limited understanding of the business or market. It can be frustrating and demoting. Okay, so I kind of touched on that a little bit. And that can really, you know, break the spirit of someone who of an entrepreneur who, you know, have big goals and dreams. And then you have this family member who really don't understand what the heck it is you're doing. And yet they're trying to offer you all this unsolicited advice based on whatever they're getting their information from. And it just becomes frustrating to you, whether it's inwardly or outwardly. And you just feel like, you know, that draining conversation, it just begins to wear on your spirit and become a distraction.
[00:08:12] Next, we want to talk about Dismissive attitudes, right?
[00:08:18] This comes in a form of, like, lack of support. So some family members may downplay the entrepreneur's effort, expressing doubts about the business viability or dismissing their goals as unrealistic. Like, some people just can't see what they can't see, you know, and some people just don't want to see because once again, of the lack of understanding, you know, will this business last? Can. Can you create a retirement fund off of it? You know, I don't know about that. And is all of that negative talk that just makes an individual feel as though they don't have that support?
[00:09:00] Also criticism. Family members may offer negative criticism, comparing the entrepreneur's progress to others, or focusing on perceived failures rather than successes.
[00:09:12] Finally, under dismissive attitudes, lack of respect for work boundaries, family members may disregard the entrepreneur's need for dedicated work time and space, making it difficult to maintain focus and productivity. Sometimes when you're first starting out, you really don't have that, you know, that dream office, you know, that you have, like, the perfect paint and that door, that door that you can just lock up and, you know, you may not have all of that. Your workspace may be the kitchen table while the children are at school, you know.
[00:09:51] And so with that being said, it's just very important that individuals, whatever you have carved out as your dedicated work time and space, that they respect that. And there are simple ways that you can reinforce this. For example, I remember I was staying with my parents and trying to do the whole entrepreneur thing, and it was constantly like, distractions, you know, and I'm trying to discipline myself to create a true workspace and block time. And it was just constant, constant distractions to where, oh, Sonia is readily available. And so I was getting pulled on a lot. And so what I did was I went to Amazon and I invested in like, do not disturb hanger signs meeting in progress, recording in progress. And I began to let them know, hey, these, these are my dedicated worked hours. I'll be working for the next two hours. Do not disturb me. I'll put that phone in. Do not disturb. And I would go to work. And it not did not happen right away. But the more I kept reinforcing that, the more they began to respect that work boundary to the point now they're like, you know, I can go to my parents, I can be around my parents and, oh, I'm. I have to record something or I'm working on a training or, you know, before I sold my home, you know, they would, they would call, hey, can I Stop by. No, it's not a good time. I'm in the thick of working with clients right now. You can come by after this time. And so it is up to us to continue to reinforce those work boundaries. And when they push back, that's when we have to continue to push back. Because it's very important that you stay focused on your race, that you stay focused on your vision, because it's your vision, it's not theirs. You know, especially if you may have old school family, as I call it, to where they feel as though, hey, I don't understand this work from home thing, or I don't understand the whole entrepreneur thing. And they feel like, you know, you should go out there and get an 8 to 5 because that's where the American dream is. And so sometimes the, the mindsets of others, you can't allow that to pretty much taint your vision. That's their mindset. But you have the vision to start your business to work from home or, you know, create an online business, whatever that may be. And so you have to stay focused on that and it's up to you to continue to reinforce those, those work boundaries.
[00:12:40] So let's talk about emotional drain. Okay. This comes in the form of constant reassurance. So entrepreneurs may feel pressured to constantly reassure family members about their progress and address their concerns leading to emotional and mental exhaustion. I can preach to the masses on this. I went through that stage, you know, to where family members wanted a constant update on the progress of what was going on, you know, to where it felt like pressure, you know, and for me, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm not asking you about your job and what's going on and the progress that you're making when you're clocked in.
[00:13:20] So why are you doing it with me, you know, and so constant reassurance, yes, that can really bring about an emotional exhaustion that can literally stunt your productivity during, during your work time. Family conflicts.
[00:13:40] This involves disagreements and arguments related to business, you know, that can strain family relationships and create unnecessary stress, guilt and resentment. Entrepreneurs may experience guilt or prioritizing their business over family obligations, or resentment towards family members for their lack of understanding or support. And so, you know, you may find that you have to put in a lot of work in the beginning, you know, and you're trying your best to prioritize your business deadlines, you know, and everything without, know, neglecting your family. But there are some times where you may be in what I call like a, all hands on Deck type season where you really do need to get your foundation in place or you really do need to complete that course or whatever it is to where you know you can lay that foundation so you can experience those long term results. And sometimes when a family member is used to having all of your time, they may feel that you are neglecting them. And, and it's like that may not even be the case because they lack that understanding of your goals and your dreams. And so that it's not that you are being selfish, but sometimes you do have to be selfish in order to protect the vision, in order to protect your time, in order to protect your peace of mind, in order to protect your energy, you know, and, and you'll find your way in it and what works for you and your individual situation. And so in essence, without clear boundaries, family dynamics can create a significant emotional and practical burden for entrepreneurs, hindering their progress and potentially jeopardizing both their business and their relationships. And this just doesn't go for family, this can go for friends as well. You know, friends can feel as though you're neglecting them and you don't have time to, to do the things you used to do with them and they're just not understanding that you are in the season that you're in. You have to put in the work. And part of putting in the work is experiencing that short term discomfort for long term comfort. And you will never see a return on your investment if you cave in every time and spend your time on activities that don't produce wealth and your desired outcome in your business.
[00:16:15] So by setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, entrepreneurs can one, protect their time and energy for focused work and business development. Two, manage expectations within their family and avoid unnecessary conflicts. Three, maintain a healthy work life balance and prevent workout. And yes, there is a such thing as work life balance. Some people don't believe in it, but I do. And I am constantly reinforcing and perfecting from season to season concerning my business, perfecting that work life balance and lastly, strengthening their relationships by fostering open and honest communication. Now this is not all of the things that you can experience by setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, but this is a good starting point. Now I do want to put that disclaimer out here that it's important to remember that not every family dynamic or friendship, you know, will create problems. You know, every family dynamic is unique. You know, every friendship is unique. These are just general observations, things that I have experienced in my life and things that other individuals that I talk to and I have coached have experience and so just remember that not all family and friends will pose challenges to your entrepreneur journey.
[00:17:42] So now let's shift gears and talk about tips for creating healthy boundaries.
[00:17:48] We'll dive into deeper the practical strategies for setting and maintaining stronger boundaries. So let's start with identifying your values and priorities. Self reflection is key. You know, Take time to understand what truly matters to you. What are your core values? What brings you joy? What are your non negotiables in life as well as what are your non negotiables in your business? On a day to day basis, Prioritize ruthlessly. Once you've identified your values, prioritize them. Where do you want to invest your time, energy and attention? What activities and relationships align with your goals and aspirations?
[00:18:34] Next, learn to say no assertively and confidently. Practice makes perfect. Start with small steps. Practice saying no to minor requests such as declining a social invitation or turning down a less important task.
[00:18:53] Next, no without explanation. You don't always owe an explanation for declining a request. A simple and polite no thank you is often sufficient.
[00:19:05] Lastly, no with kind firmness. If an explanation is necessary, be direct and assertive, but kind. For example, I appreciate the invitation, but I need to prioritize my work commitments today.
[00:19:24] Next, let's talk about Communicate your boundaries clearly and directly.
[00:19:30] This includes Be upfront and honest. Openly and respectfully communicate your needs and expectations to others. Use I statements such as I need some quiet time to focus on my work. I'm not available to help with that right now. Be consistent. Consistently uphold your boundaries. If you allow expectations, it can weaken their effectiveness.
[00:20:00] Next, practice self care and prioritize your well being.
[00:20:05] This involves making time for yourself. Schedule regular time for activities that nourish your mind, body and soul. This could include exercising meditation, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies.
[00:20:25] Prioritize rest and relaxation, y'all. This is so important. Ensure you get enough sleep and take regular breaks throughout the day. Sometimes you may have to carve out on your calendar as your business begin to grow. You may have to prioritize on your calendar and put meditation time. Even if it's just five or ten minutes. I'm telling you that little bit can totally, you know, help you during your workday.
[00:20:53] Rest is so important for me. I use a lot of brain power during the day and so when my brain is tired, I'm physically tired. So getting rest is important and I'm prioritizing that more and more each day.
[00:21:12] Also, engage in activities that bring you joy. Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you recharge. I know. Recently my husband and I, we took out a deck of Uno cards and we played chords and I was like, I really forgot how much I enjoy playing Uno. And so it's simple. Things like that, simple activities with those who you love and show you support that will make a world of difference and can recharge your mind, body and spirit.
[00:21:43] Next. Be consistent and firm in upholding your boundaries. Don't back down, okay? If someone tries to push your boundaries, be firm and reiterate your position.
[00:21:56] Be prepared for pushback. Some people may resist your boundaries initially. Stay calm and assertive and be prepared to reiterate your needs. You don't have to feel guilty about going after your dreams. Okay?
[00:22:10] Be willing to adjust. While your boundaries should be firm, they should also be flexible. Be willing to adjust them as needed based on changing circumstances and relationships. Sometimes things happen, you know, the, the boundaries that you have set right now. For example, you know, I don't have any children right now, right? So I can pretty much structure my workday a little bit better. But if I had children and everything, I may have to have a little bit more flexibility in my boundaries. If someone needs to get in touch with me and I need to keep the communication lines open, like right now, I can easily just, you know, power down my phone if I wanted to and everything to really reinforce my boundaries. But if I had children, especially like if they were at a daycare, you know, I definitely wouldn't want to power down my phone in case, you know, someone needs to get in touch with me.
[00:23:04] Next. Don't apologize for setting boundaries. You have the right to set boundaries, okay? Remember that setting boundaries, it is not selfish for you to set boundaries. It's a necessary and healthy practice for everyone.
[00:23:18] Focus on your well being, prioritize your needs and well being without feeling guilty. Oftentimes, we put ourselves on the back burner and everyone needs before our own. And I am learning that you cannot operate from a dry well. You just can't. And everything you're spending your time pouring into everyone else who's going to pour back into you. So it's very important to prioritize your own needs and well being. And in 2025, I'm putting myself first. That's a promise I made to myself. You know, we learn in business to pay yourself first. Well, you need to take the same mentality one step further. Pay yourself first in other areas of your life. If you are a spiritual person, pay yourself first spiritually. You know, if you know, you know, you need to get in your your health in order pay yourself first concerning your health.
[00:24:13] So by implementing these tips, you can effectively establish and maintain healthy boundaries that empower you to live a more fulfilling and balanced life.
[00:24:27] That was a lot. All right, so now y'all already know. If y'all have been listening to this podcast, y'all already know what time it is. Yep, you got it. Your Fab Assignment assignment. Yes, your Fierce Action Breakthrough assignment. And it's simple. 1. Reflect.
[00:24:48] Spend some time reflecting on your current boundaries. Where are you experiencing challenges? Where do you need to set clear limits?
[00:24:58] Identify one area where you need to improve your boundaries.
[00:25:06] Create Create a specific action plan for implementing that boundary and start. Start small and gradually increase the strength of your boundaries over time. In conclusion, setting healthy boundaries is an ongoing process. It requires constant effort and self awareness. But the rewards are immense.
[00:25:29] Increased productivity, reduce stress, improve relationships and a greater sense of control over your life. I encourage you to embrace the power of healthy boundaries and create a life that truly reflects your values and priorities.
[00:25:50] Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Sonja Empowers Show. If you enjoyed this episode, please like share and subscribe. For more business empowerment resources, visit SonjaSells.com and for additional resources on personal growth and inspiration, visit ChakeletDrapInspired.com until next time. Empower Disruptors Own your fierceness.
